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Why You Should Always Speak From the Heart

by Sueños on 12/13/16

I had a meeting with a client yesterday, and her relationship problem was emblematic of too many college relationships. She had just started dating a guy who seemed incredibly interested in her, however, she was possibly moving for grad school and wasn't interested in pursuing anything serious. I asked her if she had told him that, she said no, and further she didn't like how much he texted her, which she also hadn't told him. So, I want to tell you all what I told her -- Speak. Your. Mind. Because there's either two things that will happen 1) he'll be totally cool with that and your relationship, even if it's casual, will be something you enjoy having. 2) He gets his feelings hurt and doesn't want to talk to you, but at least now you've set him free, so he can go find a relationship he's fulfilled in.

The worst thing anyone can do in a relationship, especially romantic, is lead someone to believe that it could possibly turn into something more than it is, as all it will do is cause them to hurt more. If you're having a hard time telling the person exactly how you feel, I'm sure the last thing you want to do is hurt them. Moreover, I'm sure dealing with the feelings you have now is incredibly stressful for you, because every time you talk to that person you feel like you're putting on a mask and pretending to be a different person.

I hope you see that speaking from the heart doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, but all of your interpersonal relationships. Because when we do this people either come to accept us for who we really are, or are no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with us. Either way, you win, because now you know who loves and accepts you for who you are.

Now, I'm not saying be brutally honest, because arguments can be avoided simply by how you phrase things. Instead of accusing ( You never support anything I do) speak from how you actually feel (I feel like you aren't supporting me, and it really hurts when I feel like you don't have my back). What makes the difference between the two of those, is that in the second sentence you're being 100% honest about how you feel, while in the first sentence you're putting up a front. You're still wearing your mask. You aren't speaking from your heart.

This has been a guest blog by one of our coaches Diego Andreas. If you like what you read, then please, check out his blog at www.wonderingintomyself.com

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