The Three Presents of Presence
by Sueños on 02/08/17
This morning I was talking to one of my friends about her plans after she graduated with her degree. Her problems were symptomatic of most post-grads. "How can I find a new job, while staying close to home, and that has a university nearby in case I want to continue my education? What will I do about my current boyfriend?" (She was really working herself up at this point) "What if he can't find employment near where I find employment? What if we both find a job in a city that's far away from my family? How will I make the judgment call? What if neither of us can find a job in our field and we're both stuck working part-time near the university?" And she finally finished with,"It's so hard to worry about all of this, while still focusing on my grades, and the job I have now!" Her list of concerns were almost endless, but what I found the most humorous about this is she doesn't graduate for another 6-months.
Now I am far from type-A, and my procrastination often bites me in the you-know-what, but like anything the key here is balance. When we worry about the future, we are causing ourselves distress based on events that may not even come to pass. My friend was worried about getting a job in a city that wasn't close to her family, but she doesn't even know if that choice will even present itself. So this first present of presence, is freedom from anxiety. When we are focused on the current moment, we are not worried about hypothetical issues that may not even occur. Instead we are able to use that mental power to take full advantage of the moment we are in. This is certainly easier said than done, but what I find most helpful is conscious assignment of the thought as being useless. Quite literally when I have an anxious thought I think, "This is an anxious thought based on an event that has not yet come to be. I will not allow it to have power over me." When I do this I notice the thought tends to disappear, even if I had been rolling it over on my head for hours.
The next present comes when no longer allow the past to affect our current experience. I can't count the number of times I have heard my clients say they were incapable of doing something, based on an experience that bares no relevance to the current moment. For a long time I myself could not bring myself to speak to women I deemed /too/ beautiful because in High School I had been unpopular, or at least I hard perceived myself that way. What's so troubling about this is that by allowing our past to dictate our present, we often limit our capabilities. In order to combat this I recommend a similar solution to how we fight anxious thoughts. We must consciously label it as maladaptive.
The final present of presence comes as the result of our other two practices: full commitment to our conscious experience. People have so many different names for this, flow, zone, focus, etc. but really what we're talking about is putting 100% of your cognitive ability into the present moment without previous bias or attempt to predict the outcome. You are simply being in the moment that is currently taking place. This is where your peak performance lies.
So do not worry about what is to come, and do not kick yourself over what you could have done better. Instead be grateful for the moment you are currently experiencing, and express that gratitude through the complete and unbiased observation and reaction to it. You will find your life is much less bogged down by worry and anxiety, and that your expression is honest and sincere.
This is a guest blog by one of our coaches Diego-Andreas. If you like this piece, and want to see more like it, check out his blog at www.wonderingintomyself.com
